The Day Lupin Saved the Wizarding World
by HappyHufflepuff-RebelRavenclaw
Summary: AU, one-shot. Remus Lupin wolfs out, with unexpected yet lucky results! NOT LUPIN/VOLDY SLASH. THAT WOULD BE CREEPY.


The Day Lupin Saves the Wizarding World

Remus Lupin was having the worst day ever. His cauldron exploded in potions class, someone posted a 'hex me' sign on his back, and the pottermore moderation wouldn't let him post any comments in the Gryffindor common room. To make things worse, it was also going to be a full moon that night and he had to run prefect duties at the same time!

"It could be worse, Moony, you could've been rejected by the same girl for the 23rd time this semester," said Peter.

"Hey, at least I'm brave enough to ask!" said James Potter, stabbing his steak and kidney pie.

"Yeah, well you should've been wise enough not to use the same pick up line four times in a row," Sirius snickered.

"'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven' is a great line!"

"No it's not! Even muggle girls don't like it! Believe me I tried," Sirius said coolly.

Remus wasn't taking in a single word of this banter. He got up from the table and traipsed out of the great hall to the Whomping Willow. He didn't care for prefect duties tonight, he had a bigger problem.

!#$%^&*()_+

Voldemort knew he couldn't take on Hogwarts all by himself. He needed more death eaters. And horcruxes. He always needed those. But most importantly, he needed a shelter to stay so he could summon his death eaters.

The Dark Lord hid himself in the shadows of the town, Hogsmeade. He didn't have to search far enough to see a ramshackle house at the far end of the village. Perfect.

Voldemort wanted to make sure no one inhabited the hostile place first, so he rang the doorbell. No answer. He then knocked. Still nothing. Finally, he battered the door shrilly screaming: "It's the Aurors! Open up!" Again, no response. Instead of bothering with unlocking the door by '_Alomahora_', the Dark Lord blasted the door off its hinges. What's the point of being evil if you can't be rash every so often?

The house was trash. Curtains were torn, furniture was overturned, and ripped fabric was everywhere. Bellatrix would like this pigsty. Voldemort, satisfied with his hideout, decided to go find his personal bedroom. Up the stairs he went, He-Who- Must- Not- Be- Named, found a bed chamber. But when he opened the door, he was shocked. A teenage boy was in there!

"Who in Merlin's crusty beard are you?" screeched the Dark Lord.

"AAAHHH! _Expeliarmus!" _Lupin flicked Voldemort's wand away. In the split moment, the teenage boy wolfed out.

"A werewolf lives here?" said Voldemort in disbelief, "Well I'll put you out of your misery. _Avada—_Hey!" Furry werewolf Lupin wrenched out You- Know- Who's wand and broke it in half. "My wand! You broke my wand? Well, I'll take yours, boy!" Voldemort tried to cross the room, but he couldn't since our favorite werewolf was blocking him. Actually, Remus was drooling at him!

In one swift motion, the werewolf picked up the Dark Lord and ate him whole. After about another two hours of raging, werewolf Remus Lupin hacked up some robes and a puny heart. Lupin then fell asleep.

! #! $%^&*()_

The next morning, Lupin tried to sneak back into the castle. He had neglected Prefect duties, left campus after hours, and quite possibly ate another human being. Remus was almost about to enter the portrait hole when he heard behind him "Mr. Lupin! Where were you last night? You've neglected Prefect duties again! 50 points from Gryffindor!" It was McGonagall. Crap.

"I'm really sorry professor! I was having an emergency and I think I need to go see Professor Dumbledore!" Remus said very quickly.

"Very well, but if I ever catch you do this again, you'll be severely punished," McGonagall replied.

Remus then walked to where the head master's office was supposed to be.

"Password?" asked the Gargoyle.

"Uh… Lemon drops? Every flavored beans? Chocolate? Those rainbow colored popsicles?" guessed Lupin.

"Correct!" said the gargoyle, moving aside for a staircase to form. Remus climbed up the stairs and knocked on Dumbledore's door.

"Come in, Remus," Dumbledore said. Lupin opened the door to see Head Master Dumbledore with his feet propped on his desk. "Shut the door, will you? How was the full moon last night?"

"Terrible, Professor. All I remember is getting sick, some bald creep showing up and repelling his wand. The problem is I think I ate him last night… as a werewolf. When I woke up this morning, I found a tiny heart lying on the floor and some drool stained robes whose tags said they belonged to Tom Riddle. I think I killed him…" Lupin started breaking into sobs, "I'm a murderer at 16! I'm going to Azkaban!"

"Remus Lupin, you're not going to Azkaban! Now look at me. You know who Tom Riddle is? Lord Voldemort, that's right! You just saved the wizarding world, congratulations! Now I don't have to depend on James Potter's son saving us all."

"What? James has a son?" perked up a stunned Lupin.

"Yes, experimental divination, blah blah blah, ethics, blah blah blah. Well you saved the world, so 100 points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore said, "I know you're still feeling a bit overwhelmed. Maybe you should eat something. Would you like a rainbow colored popsicle?"

The End

A/N: Yes, this is a weird story brought to you by Hufflepuff with editing be Ravenclaw. Yes, there are still horcruxes that Harry and his friends need to destroy. Yes, I am using the literary term called an anaphora. Yes, this is extremely AU, but if you would like to leave a review, we would be very pleased.


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